Motherhood

This year was my first official Mother's Day. I was pregnant last Mother's Day, but it didn't quite seem real yet. This year, I felt like a real mom. I even got the corsage they pass out to all the mothers at church. I always knew I wanted to be a mother, but I was always a little scared. I knew that once I became a mom, it'd be a calling that I'd have forever. I also knew it would be the hardest thing I'd do. Now I've been a mom for almost 7 months... not very long at all. Of course, I'd like to be the "perfect" mom, but when I think about it in the eternal scheme of things, I know I have forever to work on that. For now, a great day is when I keep Hazel happy, get semi-ready, do a load of laundry, and fix dinner. And I think I'm learning to accept that. I'm so grateful I'm able to stay home with Hazel. Life sure is different as a stay at home mom, but I can say that it's the best part of my life yet.
I was watching the Food Network the other day (surprise surprise), and Giada (first name basis) was talking about the most surprising thing about motherhood. Her answer was "the laughter." I can relate! I think everything Hazel does is hilarious... and I expect my family to think the same as I send them daily photos/videos. I'm just really trying to enjoy this time when I think Hazel's the cutest, smartest, funniest thing, and when she thinks I'M the greatest too. Gotta enjoy it now, right?! Now at almost 7 months, I wish I could stop time with my baby. It's my favorite time with her so far. She babbles all the time, sits up well but doesn't crawl, grabs my face and tries to eat me, eats anything I give her, and just hangs out with me all day! As I was thinking about what I thought was the most surprising thing about motherhood, I thought about how attached I am to my little girl. I knew I'd love her a ton, but I didn't know I'd feel such a tight bond with her. A few weeks ago, I went to a movie with James, and I told him I was having separation anxiety. I thought that was only for the kids! We were only gone for a few hours, but I was sad to not have her with us! I know I'll get more used to it, but I just didn't expect that about being a mom. The other surprising thing about motherhood is how easily I feel guilty for even simple things. I remember that as a teacher, I'd feel guilty if I ever sat down and had the kids work on something independently. Well, I feel the same way about being a mom at home. That doesn't mean I DO play with her constantly, but I kind of feel guilty if I don't. Silly! Oh, how life is going to change if Hazel ever has a sibling.
So for my first Mother's Day, I got lots of love from my husband and baby! James even made me dinner and bathed Hazel, which is kind of a big deal around here. Here are my pretty flowers, beautiful baby, and handsome husband:

I'm especially grateful for my mom, who is the perfect mother for me. Now I have a tiny glimpse of what it's like to be a mother, and no Mother's Day card will ever be enough thanks to a mother who gives her whole life to her kids.
Happy Mother's Day to all of the other wonderful moms and future moms I know!